Friday, March 23, 2012

I hate Amy

She is evil. She always wants to hold me and pet me. It's disgusting. My normal defenses don't work. I slice up her hands and she becomes more insistent on picking me up. Tonight the old lady that I like let me out to investigate and do my business...and then they left me. The tall blonde was playing on her stupor machine and then suddenly...gone. The evil blonde eventually came home and let me in but, that worthless human was nit around when I needed her. Yet another reason I hate Amy.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Amy stays up too late.

So that bia who owns me is getting better about letting me have my "outs". She is still pretty lame most of the time. Tonight though she came home during fun time (dark) and let me go to the bathroom and play. I do my best but I'd much prefer to poop in her sink than the litter box. Stupid humans.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Cone of Shame and Adventures in the Pool

Poor Ginger Kahn is suffering my karmic revenge. She must wear the Cone of Shame for 14 days. She also was shaved on one leg. If I didn't know she deserved it I'd feel bad for her.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Death to Ginger Kahn

Yesterday morning i started out as usual. My morning patrol was going fine and then the Ginger Kahn shoved me into the pool. I thought my misfortune had gone unobserved by the beasts...I was so very very wrong...sadly, my story must wait until my beast charges her phone. Silly beast. The coyotes are telling a story. I'm pretty sure we'd all enjoy it more if it took place somewhere other than central Austin.

So, morning constitutional... It begins as usual. The make beast opens the door at dawn; I escape. I then enter a jungle filled with potential meals. As I belly crawl through the yard I am attacked again and again by flying creatures that mimic my every sound. I do my best to take cover and make my way to the Land of Ginger Kahn, which includes a body of water, much to my dismay. The Ginger Kahn leaps and jabs...and OMG

*swimming for my extraordinarily valuable life*

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ensley Cat Goes ATX Killa Kitty by way of Southside, Birmingham, Alabama

I spent the first six months of my life in Ensley, a suburb of Birmingham, Alabama. Calling Ensley a suburb diminishes the achievement of my 6 months survival. My original owner found my current owner at a 12 step meeting. I was only supposed to stay for a couple of weeks. Then the beasts burdened with abstract thought succumbed to addiction. The beast in charge of my care did well enough, though she and her cohort did nothing but feel shame and open windows when their second hand smoke was clearly effecting me as well as my long suffering fellow prisoners: Jordan and Dan.
Jordan is a tiny thing; Dan is a lion amongst housecats. Jordan is the eldest and a wisp of a feline. At first glance she is a dainty feline fairy in furry pantaloons...upon further observation she is a New York City sewer rat fighting, dog herding, beast taming sweetheart. Dan is monstrous. His fur is a gloomy grey. He makes my fellow prisoner, Walkabout Lennox (oh yes, she's a fancy cat), cower in corners without a threatening look or sound. He acts as Miss Jordan's bruiser, but in fact he's a pussycat...pun intended. ;). He ENJOYS his quarterly trips to the torturer and preens when he returns to prison, nearly naked. It's absurd.
My fellow prisoners and I took turns languishing and being pampered by beasts who were only vaguely paying attention. Too bad So much of their of their overfocused attention happened to be on the doors and windows. *sigh* it's a huge burden to bear.

TBC... I'm trying to escape.